I have always assumed when God wanted my attention or wanted to lead me in a certain direction, or change my life, that there would be loud, bright firecrackers.....or a loud booming voice from the Heavens chanting, "renovate the house" or "you are fine....move to Marietta!" Unfortunately that is not how he works. I figured this Christmas season I would arouse from sleep in the middle of the night to a peace filled house, because that is where HE led me. I was wrong. Babies cry......babies get sick......even in God's great plans.God is always speaking. I am the one who is hard of hearing. God is patient......always waiting for me to believe in something I cannot see, feel or hear. I am forever impatient......waiting to be convinced. I always need more.....my sweet smiling babies who reach and long for me.....not enough......a great big house to live in......not enough. I will never see the firecracker's I envision from him, and crave.....at least not until my day.
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We believe in the Jolliness (if that is a word) of Santa......he comes down the chimney......Mads says..."he best be careful!!!" We believe that!!! I believe in God's forever undying arms that continue to wrap around me. I need MORE!!!! Why?
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I am being still........like you say......I am happy, I am impatient.....I am still.
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I hold these sweet babies......look out the window.....see beautiful leaves.....like I have never seen......I am still......happy.......longing for your realness I cannot touch........I still believe.
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Thank you......for them.......for this......for patience......health......a new year......For your Son...Thank You.
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.
Be still and know that I am God: I will be exhalted among the heavens, I will be exalted in the earth.
This holiday season, I will try to be still.....I do believe.....I am SOOO incredibly happy and grateful for Him.....for the birth of that sweet sweet baby in the manger......and for my life.